For the longest time this question haunted me. I get it often almost every session to be honest. It doesn’t haunt me because I don’t know the answer it haunts me because I don’t know how to answer the question generally in the moment it’s asked. What turns me on does vary from person to person and session to session. There are times where I want to be slowly caressed and undressed. I want our tongues to meet slowing passionately with our bodies pressed together like long lost lovers. There are times I want to be ravished against a wall for a quickie. Hike up my skirt (even hotter in a semi public place) start playing with my clit, slide on a condom and slide into me dripping wet. Both scenarios are entirely different but sex generally does differ. Like there can be days I want my anal plug in during doggy and times I feel like missionary is the best position Ever. There is one thing that will ALWAYS turn me on and that’s communicating with me I’m bed. “Does this feel good?” Goes a looooong way with me and actually makes me wetter because you’re genuinely interested in my needs and my desires. Also reading body language (easier than it seems) goes a long way. Generally if I’m squirming AWAY something may need to be adjusted. Little things like that are always turn one for me but in terms of an extensive list. It varies from person to person session to session and I honestly prefer it that way. Pleasuring a partner is the fastest way to me getting turned on so letting things flow naturally will always help from what I’ve found.
Before I came into the sex work industry I had my thoughts and judgements on what this world was and how it operated. I started my journey into this industry in 2016 when sites were still thriving, the sex work market was extremely saturated and things like seeking arrangement were going main stream. I came in thinking this world couldn’t possibly be real and if it was it was a female dominated powerful sexually empowering movement. When I was introduced to things like TER and ECCIE I was confused for a lack of better words. My thought was that clients hired us to showcase our skills not dictate them. The stereotype I had of this scenario in my mind was a provider being hired and being able to not necessarily control a session but come in with a comfort to do what they do best to make sure the client was satisfied. After seeing the scoring system of TER and personally dealing with clients who expected me to do the same things for everyone I was sorely disappointed in the fact that I wasn’t getting a chance to show off MY SKILLS without the expectation of a checklist. When TER went down and I started seeing more clients break away from this mindset and it changed how I was able to do business. I find myself retaining a better base clientele longer because the expectations of a list of acronyms was lifted. Of course I run into the occasional super hobbyists but now I don’t even feel an annoyance for them I feel almost a sadness. One of the perks of my job is that I never have the same day twice meaning even if I see the same people over and over every interaction is different. That’s the joy of having a spicy sex life right? Not expecting the same things over and over but letting the chemistry of the moment take over and letting the professional you hire do their job to the best of their ability. Am I saying forgo your needs? No communicate them with the provider you hire but let go of the expectations of a list of acronyms and you may enjoy your sessions more than you expect. Thank you to the clients who have let me freely express myself in our sessions. I am on this journey exploring my sexuality along with everyone else and allowing me to showcase what I’m amazing at always works out in everyone’s favor.
Often times you hear people saying “self care” make sure you take care of yourself etc etc. What does this really mean? What does it mean for you? To me self care is making sure your mental and emotional health are well. Life gets beyond stressful at times and I feel like some of us forget that in order to be able to accomplish what you want your star player (you) has to be taken care of. As of late I know a lot of you have seen my touring schedule and it is not a game lol I travel often 5-6 days a week and I’m constantly moving. I sometimes fall into the bad habit of not leaving time for myself of my loved ones. That in turn leads to burnout which is a domino effect into other negatives. I’ve been finding as of late that if I take even two hours out of each day to just stop… my mood improves drastically. My options of self care sometimes involves finances like getting my nails done, buying a really good wine, getting new clothes etc. Sometimes though it’s just going for a walk to clear my head, or taking a full day off. With the stress of fosta/sesta and every other regular life stressor it is more important now than ever to take care of yourself. I can’t provide the best sides of me unless I am taking care of myself first. Same goes for anyone else. Be sure to be kind and caring to yourself. There is only one you.
It is no secret that I speak my mind on my twitter and other social media platforms. Every once in awhile I find out someone new blocked me on twitter and at first I would get offended. Now I kind of chuckle to myself like “how did I offend someone today” Most of my feed is my marketing, selfies, professional photos and my schedules. The irony is I post my monthly schedule I generally on average get about 30 retweets. When I’m blunt about an opinion or fact either about the industry or just life in general I get 200 likes 60 retweets. These are from both client accounts and provider accounts. Some of my clients follow me on twitter. The huge majority don’t get offended by anything I have to say. They don’t perceive me as “angry, bitter or jaded”. I live by the motto “If I doesn’t apply let it fly” if something that I say as a general statement is offensive towards you it is your responsibility to understand why. I constantly go to twitter and see things I can perceive as offensive because I feel them to be a personal attack. When that happens I take a step back... realize this person doesn’t even know me and do some inner searching as to why I became offended. I have a few clients that will text me when I post about bad client behavior and I always think to myself. If this offended you why are you coming to me? Change your behavior lol Then I also realize everyone doesn’t handle things how I do. I redirect my approach and get them to understand where offense comes from. I’m blunt with all of my clients so if ever I have a problem with anyone in particular I will sort it out with you. Transparency is a lot easier for me to navigate than anything. (This shouldn’t be a surprise in the least if you follow me lol) if you’re someone who has gotten offended from my feed and you are not a client I ask one thing of you. Ask yourself, did I personally attack you or did you feel personally attacked because whatever I said struck a nerve? Some inner searching can lead to more open conversations and less closed off because you got offended ones. Also at some point I will make a blog explaining how things I’ve said are not new but because I am the one saying them people have issues but that’s a whole different conversation. Have an amazing evening.
As many of you know and have heard a million times thus far in April of this year two sex trafficking laws passed, SESTA and FOSTA. The consequences these knew laws has been immediate and ground breaking. The aftermath of the immediate blow to the sexwork community has lead to a lot of providers dealing with ten times more stress and all less work. A lot of providers myself included have taken to twitter to vent, rant, educate or basically anything to try to either decrease the stress or make it known what’s happening. I feel like a lot of people have gotten scared away from our community or gone into hiding to wait until things blow over. I am a huge advocate for the phrase “if it doesn’t apply let it fly” A lot of the posts are about clients or potential clients with undesirable behavior. Most of us are dealing with people that prior to these laws would never have contacted us in the first place. It’s taking a huge toll on us but I also know it’s taking a toll on clients as well. You guys are frustrated because it’s harder to find us, verification has shifted from reviews and finding a provider you can trust has gotten a little harder. After all is said in done coming to look for a provider on twitter and seeing a bunch of negative comments for days, weeks or months on end can be a turn off in an already frustrating situation. For my contribution to that I apologize. It’s easy to get wrapped up in negatives and not realize the positives that come from certain situations. Despite everything going on I have been lucky enough to still have a base of amazing clientele that I adore. I’ve worked my behind off (not literally lol) for years to be the best companion I could be. The positives of my work have far outweighed the cons and that’s the attitude I want to put forward. A focus on positivity usually brings about more positives overall. Will me entire brand become rainbows and sunshine no. Will you see a whole three I just want you guys to know and understand that any venting tweets aren’t about good clients. Take anything negative with a grain of salt and a shot of tequila if it doesn’t apply to you. Have an amazing weekend and everyone remember to breathe. Storms only last so long.
GFE meaning girlfriend experience has taken on a plethora of meaning over the years I’ve been a provider in this short time. While the intent for it to be introduced as a method of service may have been positive the repercussions and consequences of the demand of this service have been all over the place. I, myself, identify as a gfe provider. By this I mean I will provide a service that is more than “wham bam thank you ma’am”. What that can mean to you as an individual will differ depending on a bunch of variables. Every interaction that I have with a new date will be different than the one before and the one after. As human beings our interactions with eachother are never the exact same. (That would be super boring anyways) What gfe isn’t is a list of services expected during a session nor is it anything that will put either person involved at risk (bare services, boundary pushing) At the end of the day as providers we aren’t your girlfriend. That’s why I say to focus on the experience of having an amazing date with the person you’re with because it is just that, an experience. It’s a level of intimacy that’s deeper than meeting a stranger at a bar and taking them home but lighter than going on e harmony to find your mate. Basically in summary what I’m saying is live in the moment, live in the experience, let go of the laundry list of review board expectations of what gfe should be and you’ll find yourself having more fun than you know. Have an amazing weekend everyone!